Dear Avah,

This morning, you woke up around 8:30. I was sitting in my office, and I saw you out of the corner of my eye, my beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyed (sleepy) little girl. 

You didn't say much to me, you didn't ask for daddy which is what you do most mornings you just wondered over to me, curled up on my lap and just sat there, completely content, 
and you let me hold you. 

It was probably only five minutes, but it was the best five minutes of my day. 

I sat there, listening to you breathe, the sweet song playing in the background, and I thought about the day you were born, the first time you walked, the first time I heard you say mommy, the first time you grabbed for my hand first. I thought about how much LOVE you have for LIFE, how happy you are, how much you LOVE school, dancing, acting. 

What an amazing big sister you are to your brother Derek, 

and oh, the love you have for your daddy, it's something that just makes my heart melt. 

I sat and held you, my five year old, who at that moment wasn't my big girl, you were my baby again, for five short minutes. But it's five short minutes I will cherish and remember always. It's rare I get moments like that with you. 

See, you and I have a special relationship. I think we are a lot a like you and I, and I love that about us. BUT it causes us to argue a bit more than I would like at this age in your life. I try hard to pick my battles with you, because Avah, you are my very strong, dependent little girl. The spark you have in yourself is something I hope stays with you forever! I will do my best to make sure that spark never dies. 

I love that you have the daddy you have. The two of you have the most extraordinary bond. It's something that I know you two will share for the rest of your life. You are a lot like daddy too, you get your smarty math skills from him, and you get your artistic, creative skills from me. So I absolutely have NO DOUBT that you will go far in life. 

I can't wait to watch every moment of it, but for now, can you just stay my little five year old, that curls up on my lap and lets me hold her, even if it's for just five short minutes?

Love, 

Mommy

song playing in the background @8:30 am - I won't give up, Jason Mraz

From now on, You bet I'll be in the picture…

Ok! So I have admitted before on various occasions that I am a total social media junky! Obsessed with FB, Instagram, blogging, you name it, I am on it!! The other day a friend shared an article on FB, and it reminded me why I just love FB - yes sometimes it can be annoying, seeing posts from people about politics, religion etc. That totally drives me crazy, (don't tell anyone, but those people usually get hidden for the month of Oct - Election day!) Anyway - back to the matter at hand! My friend shared this article and let's be honest, anything that has to do with being a mom, I usually read - so I clicked on the article, and before I new it, I had a puddle of tears on my desk, and I looked like I had two black eyes from the mass of mascara running down my face. Before you keep reading, you should click on the this link and see what I am talking about!

You are totally bawling now, right? If you aren't, something is very wrong with you (or maybe you just aren't an overweight mommy that hates to be in pictures.) So here's the thing, I struggle with my weight, every since I had Avah, I have been the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I hate pictures, HATE them! Reading this article really put it in perspective for me. I don't want my kids to look back and wonder where I am in every picture. Why do they only have pictures with daddy, and why are there NO pictures of mommy and daddy together! It's just not going to happen! So I am done being self conscience about what I look like, I am done hating pictures of me that are with my kids, because the truth is, I do want my kids to see that I was apart of there lives, and that we had so much fun together! Besides, I know I want be this way forever, and my kids will be able to see how hard I worked to be a healthier, better, stronger mommy!! So here's to “The Mom that Stays in the Picture” and to my kids that I love so much! You make me what I am today, and I love you to bits and pieces!

9…

NINE YEARS! Yup... that went super quick. I mean seriously...what the hell! It feels like yesterday I was getting ready to say “I do” for the first time, and the last. See I know I will always be with this man. He is the love of my life. 

Sure we have our struggles, our fights, our makeups, but here is the thing about us... we always figure it out, we always come up stronger, we always, always forgive and move on. We try hard everyday! It's so worth it. I know the two of us will always keep trying, and work extra hard because we know both of us are worth it. I am so thankful for the life he has given me and continues to make it better! He has given me two beautiful, amazing children, and he is truly the most amazing dad! and if I am being honest, the MOST amazing husband. So basically what I am saying in this super short post of mine is...

I am a pretty lucky girl living in this world with this man and this life!! 

Love you Vinny!