What to BLOG about…

I am sitting here, looking at all of my pictures, trying desperately to figure out what the hell to blog about. But the overwhelming feeling is taking over. It's been too long since I have blogged and to start from the last time I blogged…well, I would be here for days with updates.

Blogging really needs to be more than random posts every nine months - what the hell is wrong with me. It's not like I don't have the time. Don't get me wrong, I will take playing with my kids - or binge netflix watching any day! But seriously! This is ridiculous. I mean, I want to journal my life, my kids, my thoughts and feelings. I should make time to do that! I need to learn to stick with something and just do it…RIGHT? RIGHT!

Well, I can only give it my best…and see what happens. Hopefully I can be more consistent.

For now, I will add a few favorite moments…

Love this girl so much, she works hard at everything she does. So proud of her.

My 38th birthday with the love my life. Love him.

This boy. What can I say? He is the most amazing, hilarious little boy I know, and he is mine!

One of my favorite things I have come across lately. Chatbooks!! Love these so much.

AVAH! My dancer.

Blogging, Easter 2014, and NON iPhone Pictures!

It's been to long - I mean really, I can't even get a blog post in once a month, what is that about? I have let the simplicity of Facebook takeover blogging. Before Avah was born I used to blog all of the time, once she was born it was few and far between. Now it's non existent. I am the only thing that stands in my way of blogging about my life experiences, about my adorable family. I love reading my friends blogs, those who keep them updated, and I always think how great it will be for them one day when they can look back and remember all of the great things they did, all the great pictures of their family and adventures. Which brings me to the most important reason for my post today - I don't keep a journal, I take A LOT of pictures, mostly with my iPhone. My kids will be able to see them one day, but I will not always be around to tell them about the adventures behind them. So her I go (again) to try to be consistent with my blog - I am hoping I can find tips on how to keep it going. Blogging consistently is on my life changing list, so here it goes! Wish me luck!

Easter 2014 was a great one, even though Derek had his tonsils out, he was in great spirits!! I am grateful for the family I have, especially my husband, Avah and Derek...

Who doesn't love to fly a kite!

Derek Dominick - (and Mia in the window)

My Thoughts & A Little Prayer…

Over the past few days, I have been struggling with my world. This supposably amazing world that allows us to dream big, allows us to have the freedom of speech, to make our own choices, to raise our children to love thy neighbor. To go to school to learn and become doctors, engineers, lawyers...teachers. I am struggling because I (and I am sure I am no different than most mothers, fathers, grandmothers, friends, sisters, brothers) I am having a hard time comprehending what unfolded on Friday morning in Newtown, CT. I am struggling to find the right words to say, the right feelings to feel, the right time to cry. I am struggling to be okay with a god that can take 20 innocent children, who have only had BIG dreams and never got the chance to live them out. I am struggling. 

I can't seem to stay away from the news reports, the pictures of the sweet little children and the six adults who lost their lives that day. I keep going back, I read, I watch, I cry. I hug my two children tighter. I read the thoughts, prayers, and poems people are posting on facebook. Some give me comfort, others upset me. I wish I could give every single one of those mothers a hug, I wouldn't even say anything, just a hug. From one mother to another, because I can't begin to comprehend the words that would need to be said, I am not sure there are any. 

I don't live in Newtown, CT. I wasn't there. I didn't have a child that was in a school on lockdown on Friday. What I feel doesn't even come close to what those people of that town felt and are feeling. BUT I do have a kindergartner. A five year old who LOVES going to school, who loves her friends, who doesn't know anything of what happened on Friday. Because she hasn't asked, I haven't told. I can't bare to break her sweet little heart of the hate and evil in this world. I want her to still LOVE school, it's a safe place to her, it should be a safe place, Sandy Hook Elementary should have been a safe place. My five year old is what is going to help me not struggle so much with this, because for her my job as her mother is to make sure she does DREAM BIG! To make sure she is strong and sticks up for what SHE believes in, to make her own choices, and to love thy neighbor, to go to school, and one day become a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer or a teacher who would risk her life for her students, because that is how I raised her to be. I am blessed because I still have this right, this chance as her mother to be able to guide her to be all of those things. The mothers of those 20 beautiful children got that right taken from them on Friday morning. So I will continue to think of them, to prayer for them, to struggle with them, in hopes that someday it can hurt a little less, and regardless of what form of religion you believe in, they will see their darling little children one day once again. 

Avah age 5 - Derek age 2 

From now on, You bet I'll be in the picture…

Ok! So I have admitted before on various occasions that I am a total social media junky! Obsessed with FB, Instagram, blogging, you name it, I am on it!! The other day a friend shared an article on FB, and it reminded me why I just love FB - yes sometimes it can be annoying, seeing posts from people about politics, religion etc. That totally drives me crazy, (don't tell anyone, but those people usually get hidden for the month of Oct - Election day!) Anyway - back to the matter at hand! My friend shared this article and let's be honest, anything that has to do with being a mom, I usually read - so I clicked on the article, and before I new it, I had a puddle of tears on my desk, and I looked like I had two black eyes from the mass of mascara running down my face. Before you keep reading, you should click on the this link and see what I am talking about!

You are totally bawling now, right? If you aren't, something is very wrong with you (or maybe you just aren't an overweight mommy that hates to be in pictures.) So here's the thing, I struggle with my weight, every since I had Avah, I have been the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I hate pictures, HATE them! Reading this article really put it in perspective for me. I don't want my kids to look back and wonder where I am in every picture. Why do they only have pictures with daddy, and why are there NO pictures of mommy and daddy together! It's just not going to happen! So I am done being self conscience about what I look like, I am done hating pictures of me that are with my kids, because the truth is, I do want my kids to see that I was apart of there lives, and that we had so much fun together! Besides, I know I want be this way forever, and my kids will be able to see how hard I worked to be a healthier, better, stronger mommy!! So here's to “The Mom that Stays in the Picture” and to my kids that I love so much! You make me what I am today, and I love you to bits and pieces!