What to BLOG about…

I am sitting here, looking at all of my pictures, trying desperately to figure out what the hell to blog about. But the overwhelming feeling is taking over. It's been too long since I have blogged and to start from the last time I blogged…well, I would be here for days with updates.

Blogging really needs to be more than random posts every nine months - what the hell is wrong with me. It's not like I don't have the time. Don't get me wrong, I will take playing with my kids - or binge netflix watching any day! But seriously! This is ridiculous. I mean, I want to journal my life, my kids, my thoughts and feelings. I should make time to do that! I need to learn to stick with something and just do it…RIGHT? RIGHT!

Well, I can only give it my best…and see what happens. Hopefully I can be more consistent.

For now, I will add a few favorite moments…

Love this girl so much, she works hard at everything she does. So proud of her.

My 38th birthday with the love my life. Love him.

This boy. What can I say? He is the most amazing, hilarious little boy I know, and he is mine!

One of my favorite things I have come across lately. Chatbooks!! Love these so much.

AVAH! My dancer.

From now on, You bet I'll be in the picture…

Ok! So I have admitted before on various occasions that I am a total social media junky! Obsessed with FB, Instagram, blogging, you name it, I am on it!! The other day a friend shared an article on FB, and it reminded me why I just love FB - yes sometimes it can be annoying, seeing posts from people about politics, religion etc. That totally drives me crazy, (don't tell anyone, but those people usually get hidden for the month of Oct - Election day!) Anyway - back to the matter at hand! My friend shared this article and let's be honest, anything that has to do with being a mom, I usually read - so I clicked on the article, and before I new it, I had a puddle of tears on my desk, and I looked like I had two black eyes from the mass of mascara running down my face. Before you keep reading, you should click on the this link and see what I am talking about!

You are totally bawling now, right? If you aren't, something is very wrong with you (or maybe you just aren't an overweight mommy that hates to be in pictures.) So here's the thing, I struggle with my weight, every since I had Avah, I have been the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I hate pictures, HATE them! Reading this article really put it in perspective for me. I don't want my kids to look back and wonder where I am in every picture. Why do they only have pictures with daddy, and why are there NO pictures of mommy and daddy together! It's just not going to happen! So I am done being self conscience about what I look like, I am done hating pictures of me that are with my kids, because the truth is, I do want my kids to see that I was apart of there lives, and that we had so much fun together! Besides, I know I want be this way forever, and my kids will be able to see how hard I worked to be a healthier, better, stronger mommy!! So here's to “The Mom that Stays in the Picture” and to my kids that I love so much! You make me what I am today, and I love you to bits and pieces!

Sometimes I can ALMOST be a super-mom…

…sometimes. I say almost because it's never 100%. I mean let's be honest, that is nearly impossible! Especially when I get up at 5:30 a.m. to go workout, (when I am not having organs being surgically removed from my body) come home, rush to get myself somewhat put together. Shuffle jammy dressed kids out the door just in time for me to get my ass sitting at my desk by 8:30! Work 7-8 hours, go pick up kids from the babysitter, make sure homework is done, get dinner on the table and then bedtime. Let me tell you a little secret...ready, bedtime sucks at our house. Both our kids hate going to sleep by themselves. So it's usually Vin with Avah and myself laying on the floor in Derek's room. On the rare occasion Derek would rather have his daddy, which is fine with me cause I would rather lay in a bed then on the floor! We really need to nip this in the behind. (but honestly, that's the last thing I want to do at night time is fight with kids to go to sleep on their own - so we complain, and hope it wont be an hour before we are out...and continue to do it. Probably because we love them so much!)

So back to me trying to be a super-mom. I wish this was easier to come by. Because all I would like in life right now is a clean home, happy kids, happy husband, and of course happy me. But being a working mom is taking a HUGE toll on that tiny little dream of mine. I love my job. Love the people I work with. HOWEVER! Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, you know being a career woman and all! I think it's good for my kids to see it, and again I love what I do. BUT I really want to be an awesome mom. So yesterday in my midst of trying to be super-mom. In the four hours I had before I went to work, I managed to dust, vacuum, clean the kitchen, clean the living room, AND I even managed to get a few Halloween decorations out. did I mention that I also took two cute little girls to dance, and went grocery shopping with my very tired little boy too! Yup! That was me yesterday morning! So I was feeling pretty good, right up until I had to take my sweet little kids to daycare. 

Here's the thing about daycare. WE HAVE THE BEST DAYCARE! I am not even kidding. I couldn't ask for a better place for my kids to be each day. Melissa is the sweetest, most caring person I know. She loves my kids like her own. She has the cutest family, and really I don't consider them as “the people who watch my kids” they are like family to me. My kids love it too! Derek probably the most. So generally Avah goes to school in the afternoons, but yesterday she didn't have school. When we got to Melissa's she was fine, until she realized she was staying and not going to school. Then came the water works! She was hysterical. So upset, and literally my heart started to break. If the crying alone wasn't enough. Through her sopped wet face, and huge breaths I hear “all I want to do is stay home with you, make pumpkin bread, and decorate for halloween.” YUP! Did you hear it too? My heart crumbled into a million pieces, and it took all I had not to fall to the ground and join her in her sob story! It was the absolute worst! Because I was now late for work, I had to gather up whatever was left of me and shut the door behind me to the sounds of her balling. So of course the next fifteen minutes I spent in the car was me crying just as hard as Avah. So much for thinking I had pulled off the super-mom card! UGH! 

It's tough, I hope someday that I get to be there for my kids 100%. I am thankful I have a job, I am thankful I have a husband who works every single day to try to be better at his career, so he can make more money just so I can wear my cape and be a super-mom daily! Until then, you can bet that on Sunday my sweet little girl of mine will be in the kitchen making pumpkin bread and whatever else her little heart desires! 

I have such good kids, while I clean they watch shows and color! 

I was able to get a little halloween stuff out! 

Turning FIVE!

This little girl is becoming quite the young little lady! I am so proud of her, and all of the things she is willing to try and accomplish, and can you believe that she is in Kindergarten! Seriously! I have a five year old that started kindergarten this year. It's unbelievable to me, how fast life goes.

We started off the summer with her 5th birthday party! We had a pajama's and pancake themed party! I have to say it was a success! The kids arrived in there pj's and had pancakes, read stories, got little blankets as party favors, it was a blast!! A perfect way to start her 5th year of this amazing life!

not a very good pic, but this is her invite!

Cute, cute Archer!

fruit loop necklaces!

fleece blankets for the guests

story time by Miss Reagan

all the cute party guests!! what a fun group of kids!

Blowing out the candles

Make a wish, my sweet girl.

center pieces!

Starting New…

A lot has changed in our life these past few months. I have really wanted to get back into blogging and documenting our lives, so I figured with all of the changes in our lives, now was the perfect time to start a new blog.

The biggest change for our little family of four has been buying our first home. This was HUGE for Vinny and I. We have worked so hard to get to this point in our married life. It has been tough, through all the saving, paying things off, fighting... every minute has been worth it. We closed on March 8, 2012. It was one of the best days of our lives to date. We found (what I like to call) our “affordable” dream home. It is PERFECT for our family. We have loved doing little projects here and there to make this house our home. I am learning that it is ok not have to have every inch of our home perfect right away, and with planning and saving we will do a little at a time. It's been so much fun, and I look forward to decorating, painting, organizing and making this our perfect house.

It's been so long since I have blogged a lot of things have happened in our lives, hopefully I will find time to catch up on them... another big change was Vinny getting a new job. He worked so HARD to get this position, and the work paid off. He is the Product Marketing Manger over sporting goods and playground equipment. The biggest thing we have had to adapt to is Vinny having to work out of the valley. It's been a change for all of us, but I think we adapted pretty well, and it's been really good for Vinny to find a job that he LOVES the commute is tough, but he is making the best of it. Which is what we are both trying to do with anything that is not “ideal” in our lives.

So those are just TWO of the big changes that have happened to our little family of four... and here are a few pics of our house... our “AFFORDABLE DREAM HOME” enjoy…(inside pictures coming soon)

Avah and Derek (April 15, 2012)