Avah...7 years ago today. (Repost)

Happy Birthday to this little amazing girl of mine!

Avah Louize Spinning is finally here. I started having contractions Saturday night when I got into bed, they were coming about every hour. Sunday we spent most of the day at my parents house. About 8 pm we went home, and they started to come every five minutes, when we got home, I got in the bath, and I only lasted about five minutes, the contractions started getting very intense. So we continued to get ready for the hospital. They were very consistent for an hour, and just seemed to get stronger and stronger, so Vin called the hospital, and they told me to come on up. When we arrived at the hospital they hooked me up to all the monitors and checked my dilation. I was only about a 2.5 I couldn't believe it wasn't more than that. Thank goodness they didn't sent me home. I was put on potassium (not sure of the spelling) to help get the contractions closer together. About an hour later I was checked again, and to a 3 so the nurse asked me if I wanted the epidural, there was no hesitation...I said YES!! (Note to all of those who have never given birth before and are about too, DO NOT EAT A BIG MEAL THE DAY YOU THINK YOU WILL DELIVER. - I was not good, threw up twice, poor Vinny he was such a trooper, so good with me. At about 12:30 Dr. Fowers came in (he is not our original doctor, Avah decided to choose a day when our doctor wouldn't be around) he broke my water and said that for a first time delivery it would most likely be a couple hours to get to 4cm and then it's usually 1cm every hour till you get to ten. So we all thought that Dr. Kirkman would actually be able to deliver her because he would be back on at 7:00 am. Little did we know. My sister was also there, so the three of us turned the light off and all tried to sleep. At a little after 2, I woke up and had a lot of pain in my back. The baby was moving a lot, and her heart rate kept dropping, so I was put on Oxygen for her. The pain wouldn't go away, and I was starting to feel pain down the left leg. The nurse checked me, and to all of our amazement I was already at a 7. I was able to get more medicine because it felt like I was feeling it ware off in my left side. At about 3:00 the pain in my back was getting worse, and it had only been twenty minutes since the nurse checked me, but she decided to check me again, and I was already at a ten. So I was obviously not a typical first time as far as having a long labor. Avah was ready to come out, the nurse started getting everything ready, and we started to do some pushing. It was pretty natural to me, which was surprising. I thought I wouldn't be able to do it. But she was so low, and her head was crowning. So the doctor was paged. My parents were called. I was so happy because my dad stayed and got to witness her being born. I know it meant so much to him. I started to feel a lot of pressure and wanted to push, but the nurse wouldn't let me anymore until the doctor got there. Vinny and I are convinced that the nurse was starting to get nervous that Dr. Fowers wasn't there yet. She kept saying to me, “Don't push, just breath thru it.” Finally the doctor got there, and about twenty minutes of pushing, she was here. Perfect and Amazing. She did so great, and I mush say, I think I did pretty good myself. It was honestly the most amazing thing I have ever been thru. It's so true that there is nothing like it, no words to describe it. You really don't know unless you have been thru it. I am so in love with my daughter, and can not believe that I am a mommy. I really can't believe that Vinny is a Daddy. I am seeing him in a completely different way, and falling completely in love with him all over again. He is so good with her, and just loves her so much. He already has promised her a pony and puppy, he says she will get whatever she wants. (UH OH, I think we are in trouble.) He was so good during the labor. I really couldn't have asked for anything better. So here are some pictures of her on her first day in the world, we will take more today, she is starting to puff out. So she is looking more like a baby!! I am just in love...

A big SHOUT OUT to my SIS...on her BIRTHDAY!

Today is my sisters birthday!! I hope she doesn't kill me for putting it out there, but I think she should totally embrace this birthday!! She is one of the most TALENTED, CARING, LOVING, FUN, FABULOUS, GORGEOUS, GRACIOUS, SPECTACULAR, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, FANTASTIC (I could go on and on) person I know. I am proud that she is my sister! I love her strength and courage, her loving heart and she is beautiful in and out. Jayme, you are the best sister, friend I could ever hope for. I think the world of you. I hope you have an amazing FABULOUS birthday!! Can't wait to give you the biggest hug every tomorrow!! LOVE YOU!!

40 NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD!! 

Dear Avah,

This morning, you woke up around 8:30. I was sitting in my office, and I saw you out of the corner of my eye, my beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyed (sleepy) little girl. 

You didn't say much to me, you didn't ask for daddy which is what you do most mornings you just wondered over to me, curled up on my lap and just sat there, completely content, 
and you let me hold you. 

It was probably only five minutes, but it was the best five minutes of my day. 

I sat there, listening to you breathe, the sweet song playing in the background, and I thought about the day you were born, the first time you walked, the first time I heard you say mommy, the first time you grabbed for my hand first. I thought about how much LOVE you have for LIFE, how happy you are, how much you LOVE school, dancing, acting. 

What an amazing big sister you are to your brother Derek, 

and oh, the love you have for your daddy, it's something that just makes my heart melt. 

I sat and held you, my five year old, who at that moment wasn't my big girl, you were my baby again, for five short minutes. But it's five short minutes I will cherish and remember always. It's rare I get moments like that with you. 

See, you and I have a special relationship. I think we are a lot a like you and I, and I love that about us. BUT it causes us to argue a bit more than I would like at this age in your life. I try hard to pick my battles with you, because Avah, you are my very strong, dependent little girl. The spark you have in yourself is something I hope stays with you forever! I will do my best to make sure that spark never dies. 

I love that you have the daddy you have. The two of you have the most extraordinary bond. It's something that I know you two will share for the rest of your life. You are a lot like daddy too, you get your smarty math skills from him, and you get your artistic, creative skills from me. So I absolutely have NO DOUBT that you will go far in life. 

I can't wait to watch every moment of it, but for now, can you just stay my little five year old, that curls up on my lap and lets me hold her, even if it's for just five short minutes?

Love, 

Mommy

song playing in the background @8:30 am - I won't give up, Jason Mraz

From now on, You bet I'll be in the picture…

Ok! So I have admitted before on various occasions that I am a total social media junky! Obsessed with FB, Instagram, blogging, you name it, I am on it!! The other day a friend shared an article on FB, and it reminded me why I just love FB - yes sometimes it can be annoying, seeing posts from people about politics, religion etc. That totally drives me crazy, (don't tell anyone, but those people usually get hidden for the month of Oct - Election day!) Anyway - back to the matter at hand! My friend shared this article and let's be honest, anything that has to do with being a mom, I usually read - so I clicked on the article, and before I new it, I had a puddle of tears on my desk, and I looked like I had two black eyes from the mass of mascara running down my face. Before you keep reading, you should click on the this link and see what I am talking about!

You are totally bawling now, right? If you aren't, something is very wrong with you (or maybe you just aren't an overweight mommy that hates to be in pictures.) So here's the thing, I struggle with my weight, every since I had Avah, I have been the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I hate pictures, HATE them! Reading this article really put it in perspective for me. I don't want my kids to look back and wonder where I am in every picture. Why do they only have pictures with daddy, and why are there NO pictures of mommy and daddy together! It's just not going to happen! So I am done being self conscience about what I look like, I am done hating pictures of me that are with my kids, because the truth is, I do want my kids to see that I was apart of there lives, and that we had so much fun together! Besides, I know I want be this way forever, and my kids will be able to see how hard I worked to be a healthier, better, stronger mommy!! So here's to “The Mom that Stays in the Picture” and to my kids that I love so much! You make me what I am today, and I love you to bits and pieces!

9…

NINE YEARS! Yup... that went super quick. I mean seriously...what the hell! It feels like yesterday I was getting ready to say “I do” for the first time, and the last. See I know I will always be with this man. He is the love of my life. 

Sure we have our struggles, our fights, our makeups, but here is the thing about us... we always figure it out, we always come up stronger, we always, always forgive and move on. We try hard everyday! It's so worth it. I know the two of us will always keep trying, and work extra hard because we know both of us are worth it. I am so thankful for the life he has given me and continues to make it better! He has given me two beautiful, amazing children, and he is truly the most amazing dad! and if I am being honest, the MOST amazing husband. So basically what I am saying in this super short post of mine is...

I am a pretty lucky girl living in this world with this man and this life!! 

Love you Vinny!

More Wedding Pictures…

A few more pics... (and more to come)

Aunt Mary Lyn, Aunt Kim, and Grandpa Doc

Hayden (in stroller) Sister Cousin JJ, Sister Cousin Maggie, Uncle Mike, Sister Cousin Annie

Uncle Johnny and his youngest son Josh

Brittany and Jason!

A Wedding…

 How stunning is she…

 Cutest Couple…

My extremely talented mom made Brittany's Dress. It was absolutely beautiful.

My amazing cousin Brittany got married this past Saturday! It was the most perfect day, and she was the most stunning looking bride I have ever seen. She looked beautiful. I couldn't be happier for her and her darling husband Jason. They make the cutest couple, and I just know they are going to have a wonderful life together, I am so blessed to have witnessed and been apart of such an amazing day for two amazing people! Here are a few pics... more from the luncheon and reception to come…

Look at my adorable kids... (very happy I was able to finish Avah's dress in time, thank goodness for my Aunt Kim and my mom's help. I wouldn't have got it done if it wasn't for them)

My beautiful sister Jayme and her adorable little girl Sophie (Jayme made Sophie's dress, it turned out so cute!)

Mother of the bride… My Aunt Wendy. I just love her.

My AWESOME Uncle Johnny - Father of the bride!

My amazing brother Max and his son Jack... 

From left to right - Cali, Derek, Cole, Avah and Jack.