Blogging, Easter 2014, and NON iPhone Pictures!

It's been to long - I mean really, I can't even get a blog post in once a month, what is that about? I have let the simplicity of Facebook takeover blogging. Before Avah was born I used to blog all of the time, once she was born it was few and far between. Now it's non existent. I am the only thing that stands in my way of blogging about my life experiences, about my adorable family. I love reading my friends blogs, those who keep them updated, and I always think how great it will be for them one day when they can look back and remember all of the great things they did, all the great pictures of their family and adventures. Which brings me to the most important reason for my post today - I don't keep a journal, I take A LOT of pictures, mostly with my iPhone. My kids will be able to see them one day, but I will not always be around to tell them about the adventures behind them. So her I go (again) to try to be consistent with my blog - I am hoping I can find tips on how to keep it going. Blogging consistently is on my life changing list, so here it goes! Wish me luck!

Easter 2014 was a great one, even though Derek had his tonsils out, he was in great spirits!! I am grateful for the family I have, especially my husband, Avah and Derek...

Who doesn't love to fly a kite!

Derek Dominick - (and Mia in the window)

I'll have VEGETABLES with a little side of FRUIT please...

That's what my menu has been for the past week. I went on a “only fruits and vegetable” diet for a week. Yes, you heard correct... ONE WEEK, 7 DAYS! I realize I am being a little dramatic, and when all said and done, it really wasn't so bad. Although one might ask my husband, he might have a different opinion. 

Here is the thing, I have been consistently working out for over a year now, watching what I eat... not so much consistent. I do really well, then I go back to old habits. I cheat and tell myself it's ok. BUT it's not! So I was ready to try something new! It's so TRUE about the 80/20 crap! I say crap because I hate dieting, I hate watching what I eat, and I sometimes hate working out. BUT theres that BUT again... I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING...BEING FAT! Yes, I look in the mirror and I see FAT!

Well, I am over it, I am over coming up with the excuses, I am over CHEATING on myself. I AM OVER IT!

Enter Jake: Jake is one of the most encouraging people I have ever meant when it comes to health and fitness. I have known him for over a year now, and he hasn't given up on me. I love that about Jake, he still pushes even though I look the same as I did when I meant him. I know I am stronger, I know I am a little more confident, and I know its mostly because of him. So Jake thru this little challenge at me, only eat fruits and veggies for a week, nothing else. (although he did allow me to keep my coffee, what a sweetheart, right?) So I decided on my own when I was going to start this. After spending four days in southern utah with my friends and family, hiking, and being in the heat, I knew when I got back, it was time.

So last Wednesday I started! I was excited, nervous, and most of all scared I was going to fail. Thank god I was scared, because that was what kept me from not giving up. It was probably one of the hardest things I have done. BUT I DID IT! I did it with not even one little cheat. I mean people, I didn't even lick my fingers after giving my kids a little stack of BBQ pringles. I was totally in control of the situation. Day 1 thru 4 wasn't so bad, I was my crankiest around 4:00-5:00 pm. Day 5, SUCKED, I mean a big giant F word sucked! But I pushed thru, Day 6, was good, and by Day 7, I was done, I wanted to be DONE, it pretty much sucked all day too! But can I just tell you when I woke up this morning, I was beyond proud of myself!! AND I didn't run downstairs and put the first cookie I could find in my mouth! I got up, got my water, went to workout, and I came home, and made me the best eggs I have ever tasted, with avocado of course...

Here is what I took away from this challenge:

1. I can do WHATEVER I want if I just put my mind to it, and tell myself I can do ANYTHING.

2. I NEED PROTEIN!

3. I didn't crave sweets, breads, pastas, rice... I am more satisfied with double the veggies then having       the rice.

4. Water makes you feel full longer

5. Eat smaller portions more often - THIS REALLY WORKS PEOPLE

6. I lost four pounds - but in the end it wasn't really about losing the weight, it was about showing myself I have willpower and discipline to lose the fat AND eat clean.

7. I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL HUSBAND! Seriously, Vinny was amazing. He made every lunch and dinner that he was available to make for me. He was conscience about what he was eating in front of me, he put up with my bitchy moments. He new when to leave me alone, and when to distract me. He kept me moving, and encouraged me every second of the past week. He sees me, and sees how hard I worked and it has encouraged him to change his habits too, which in turn makes me want to keep going. So thanks Vin! I love you!!

So now what? Well, I continue to eat clean, but I get to add in protein, maybe a little dairy. You don't even know how excited I am for dinner tonight, I get to eat a piece of grilled chicken, with a side of veggies, and fruit for dessert!

Love this girl...

Look at this beauty! I am in constant awe of this little girl... I can hardly believe she is going to be six in  a week.

Avah and Callie

Oh, and I quit my job...I am officially a work at home/stay at home mom... more on that later!

My Thoughts & A Little Prayer…

Over the past few days, I have been struggling with my world. This supposably amazing world that allows us to dream big, allows us to have the freedom of speech, to make our own choices, to raise our children to love thy neighbor. To go to school to learn and become doctors, engineers, lawyers...teachers. I am struggling because I (and I am sure I am no different than most mothers, fathers, grandmothers, friends, sisters, brothers) I am having a hard time comprehending what unfolded on Friday morning in Newtown, CT. I am struggling to find the right words to say, the right feelings to feel, the right time to cry. I am struggling to be okay with a god that can take 20 innocent children, who have only had BIG dreams and never got the chance to live them out. I am struggling. 

I can't seem to stay away from the news reports, the pictures of the sweet little children and the six adults who lost their lives that day. I keep going back, I read, I watch, I cry. I hug my two children tighter. I read the thoughts, prayers, and poems people are posting on facebook. Some give me comfort, others upset me. I wish I could give every single one of those mothers a hug, I wouldn't even say anything, just a hug. From one mother to another, because I can't begin to comprehend the words that would need to be said, I am not sure there are any. 

I don't live in Newtown, CT. I wasn't there. I didn't have a child that was in a school on lockdown on Friday. What I feel doesn't even come close to what those people of that town felt and are feeling. BUT I do have a kindergartner. A five year old who LOVES going to school, who loves her friends, who doesn't know anything of what happened on Friday. Because she hasn't asked, I haven't told. I can't bare to break her sweet little heart of the hate and evil in this world. I want her to still LOVE school, it's a safe place to her, it should be a safe place, Sandy Hook Elementary should have been a safe place. My five year old is what is going to help me not struggle so much with this, because for her my job as her mother is to make sure she does DREAM BIG! To make sure she is strong and sticks up for what SHE believes in, to make her own choices, and to love thy neighbor, to go to school, and one day become a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer or a teacher who would risk her life for her students, because that is how I raised her to be. I am blessed because I still have this right, this chance as her mother to be able to guide her to be all of those things. The mothers of those 20 beautiful children got that right taken from them on Friday morning. So I will continue to think of them, to prayer for them, to struggle with them, in hopes that someday it can hurt a little less, and regardless of what form of religion you believe in, they will see their darling little children one day once again. 

Avah age 5 - Derek age 2 

Dear Avah,

This morning, you woke up around 8:30. I was sitting in my office, and I saw you out of the corner of my eye, my beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyed (sleepy) little girl. 

You didn't say much to me, you didn't ask for daddy which is what you do most mornings you just wondered over to me, curled up on my lap and just sat there, completely content, 
and you let me hold you. 

It was probably only five minutes, but it was the best five minutes of my day. 

I sat there, listening to you breathe, the sweet song playing in the background, and I thought about the day you were born, the first time you walked, the first time I heard you say mommy, the first time you grabbed for my hand first. I thought about how much LOVE you have for LIFE, how happy you are, how much you LOVE school, dancing, acting. 

What an amazing big sister you are to your brother Derek, 

and oh, the love you have for your daddy, it's something that just makes my heart melt. 

I sat and held you, my five year old, who at that moment wasn't my big girl, you were my baby again, for five short minutes. But it's five short minutes I will cherish and remember always. It's rare I get moments like that with you. 

See, you and I have a special relationship. I think we are a lot a like you and I, and I love that about us. BUT it causes us to argue a bit more than I would like at this age in your life. I try hard to pick my battles with you, because Avah, you are my very strong, dependent little girl. The spark you have in yourself is something I hope stays with you forever! I will do my best to make sure that spark never dies. 

I love that you have the daddy you have. The two of you have the most extraordinary bond. It's something that I know you two will share for the rest of your life. You are a lot like daddy too, you get your smarty math skills from him, and you get your artistic, creative skills from me. So I absolutely have NO DOUBT that you will go far in life. 

I can't wait to watch every moment of it, but for now, can you just stay my little five year old, that curls up on my lap and lets me hold her, even if it's for just five short minutes?

Love, 

Mommy

song playing in the background @8:30 am - I won't give up, Jason Mraz

From now on, You bet I'll be in the picture…

Ok! So I have admitted before on various occasions that I am a total social media junky! Obsessed with FB, Instagram, blogging, you name it, I am on it!! The other day a friend shared an article on FB, and it reminded me why I just love FB - yes sometimes it can be annoying, seeing posts from people about politics, religion etc. That totally drives me crazy, (don't tell anyone, but those people usually get hidden for the month of Oct - Election day!) Anyway - back to the matter at hand! My friend shared this article and let's be honest, anything that has to do with being a mom, I usually read - so I clicked on the article, and before I new it, I had a puddle of tears on my desk, and I looked like I had two black eyes from the mass of mascara running down my face. Before you keep reading, you should click on the this link and see what I am talking about!

You are totally bawling now, right? If you aren't, something is very wrong with you (or maybe you just aren't an overweight mommy that hates to be in pictures.) So here's the thing, I struggle with my weight, every since I had Avah, I have been the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I hate pictures, HATE them! Reading this article really put it in perspective for me. I don't want my kids to look back and wonder where I am in every picture. Why do they only have pictures with daddy, and why are there NO pictures of mommy and daddy together! It's just not going to happen! So I am done being self conscience about what I look like, I am done hating pictures of me that are with my kids, because the truth is, I do want my kids to see that I was apart of there lives, and that we had so much fun together! Besides, I know I want be this way forever, and my kids will be able to see how hard I worked to be a healthier, better, stronger mommy!! So here's to “The Mom that Stays in the Picture” and to my kids that I love so much! You make me what I am today, and I love you to bits and pieces!

9…

NINE YEARS! Yup... that went super quick. I mean seriously...what the hell! It feels like yesterday I was getting ready to say “I do” for the first time, and the last. See I know I will always be with this man. He is the love of my life. 

Sure we have our struggles, our fights, our makeups, but here is the thing about us... we always figure it out, we always come up stronger, we always, always forgive and move on. We try hard everyday! It's so worth it. I know the two of us will always keep trying, and work extra hard because we know both of us are worth it. I am so thankful for the life he has given me and continues to make it better! He has given me two beautiful, amazing children, and he is truly the most amazing dad! and if I am being honest, the MOST amazing husband. So basically what I am saying in this super short post of mine is...

I am a pretty lucky girl living in this world with this man and this life!! 

Love you Vinny!